jesus junk of the month award
Monday October 09th 2006, 10:45 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

firebible.jpgyeah, it’s a jesus-junky month, but, ooh — this one is HOT! really. call fire marshall bill: it’s the fire bible, a little gimmick to illustrate to your students (or congregation) just how HOTT (ht to paris hilton) the word of god is. from the website:

When was the last time your class saw how “HOT” God’s Word is? Open this authentic looking “bible” and begin to share the scripture for the day as real flames are seen coming from your “bible”. This full size book comes with a battery operated ignition system. All you supply are the batteries, lighter fluid and composure as your class gets excited. (special note: Fed-Ex shipping is available if you absolutely have to have the Fire Bible for this Sunday!)

Only $44.95!

(ht to bobbie)

10 Comments so far
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I have a home made version of one of these (although it’s manual not automatic battery operated!) and I have to say it is great when used well, I think the problem here is the example they are giving, it’s a magic prop that needs to have the right setting and patter to work otherwise you’re right it’s just cheesy Jesus junk!

Comment by Simo 10.09.06 @ 11:23 am

I would use it to scare my students into submission. I’d tell them that if they didn’t sit there quietly, I’d call forth fire from God’s word and burn them up!

Comment by Erik 10.09.06 @ 11:39 am

Richard Pryor was burned using one of these - it wasn’t from a crack accident,

Richard Pryor quote: When you are on fire you can RUN, they should use fire in the Olympics”

Comment by chuckk gerwig 10.09.06 @ 12:22 pm

my pastor in the super-conservative Baptist church that I grew up in had one of thoses. Very funny.

Comment by Daniel 10.09.06 @ 12:58 pm

The fire must be when you open to the Old Testament. Everyone knows the New Testament is about love.

Comment by stuntdad 10.09.06 @ 2:16 pm

Marko, I think you should use that at a “picture in need of a caption” contest… I can think of a few right away! Ha.

Comment by brian aaby 10.09.06 @ 8:00 pm

Someone seems to have bought one… HEADLINE: “Contraband in auditorium spurs evacuation, K-9 unit” Details:

Comment by l4ou 10.10.06 @ 1:30 am

I know what my middle school ministry lacks, actual fire. I see no possible problems with that.

Comment by Kevin I 10.10.06 @ 10:10 am

My church owns one of these and it’s in the curriculum for the day I’m supposed to teach confirmation… debating using it or not, but I tend to agree it’s a little cheesy.

Comment by Isaac 10.10.06 @ 12:16 pm


Hey, my church for some reason has two of these funny things. If ya want one… I’d be glad to give it to ya. One can only have fun with so much Jesus Junk… We also have a brain and a heart mold and one magic light bulb. My guess is that the former youth guy was an absolute dork… ok so that means if I kept them I am a dork as well. ok… at least you could share in my dorkiness… I mean I’m not even odd enough to do “the strobe” in front of 3000 others. Thanks for your role in the convntion. My wife and I and my workers were blessed incredibly.

if interested in the fire Bible my email is

Comment by James Cotten 10.11.06 @ 4:37 pm

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