on our ys exec team retreat this week, our good friend and consultant mark dowds led us through a variety of self-learning, self-disclosing and team building exercises that culminated in a time of learning and practicing how to give difficult feedback. the first worksheet and sharing time centered around each of our commitments to ourselves — which was so interesting to hear from each other. in knowing, for example, tic long’s personal commitments to himself, i am able to work alongside him in a hope of supporting those commitments.

our second phase involved filling out a worksheet (my soundtrack while i filled it out: system of a down) on what each of us is learning, how we’re growing, what we’re experimenting with, and what we’re discovering. again, the listening to others was way more valuable than my own writing time.

but in a spirit of vulnerability and accountability, here’s what i wrote:

learning
i’m learning the value of disciplined and wide voracious reading on my ability to see creative cross-grain solutions and ideas, and on spotting systems and pattern recognition.

i’m learning to assess the myriad ways empowerment and freedom are defined for different people.

growing
i’m growing in my understanding of how to use my stengths for good, not just to use my strenths. in other words, i’m growing in my understanding of the good and bad ways my strengths can be played out, particularly in terms of one-on-one relationships and interactions.

i’m growing in my reliance on other people.

experimenting
i’m experimenting with the tension between appropriate compliance and appropriate resistance.

i’m experimenting with the implications of the theological assumptions i’ve held all my life and how they do or don’t line up with jesus.

i’m experimenting with the role of quarterly silent retreats in my life.

discovering
i’m discovering the counter-intuitive power that resides in true humility.

i’m discovering more of my weaknesses and blindspots.

i’m discovering the value of shutting up and asking forgiveness even when i’m barely wrong, but have hurt someone.