max’s birthday is this week, and he had his first sleep-over last night. i was, as they say, the grand poobah of 8 year-old boy partydom. clearly, i am not a children’s ministry guy.

an edited script of me in the last 12 hours would be:
“welcome, liam, good to meet you”
“guys, let’s take turns on the xbox”
“cole, you have to give your controller to garrett; you’ve had it too long”
“hey, try not to scream too loud, OK?”
“OK, guys, we have 8 pizza toppings, since max is turning 8; come make your own”
“tommy, are you sure you want that much cheese?”
“pizza’s ready!”
“come sit down in here; we’re going to play a game where you can win dollar bills!”
“first person to bring me a blade of grass gets a dollar!” [of course, this resulted in handfulls of grass thrown in my face seconds later]
“let’s go have cake!”
“wow, another target gift card, max!”
“yes, cole, you can go in the hot tub in your underwear”
“guys, no cannonballs into the hot tub, OK?”
“guys, no running on the hot tub stairs, or you’ll slip and fall”
“wow, cole, you’ve gone down the waterslide 25 times? 28?”
“HEY! stop running!”
“liesl, if you leave them alone, they won’t bother you”
“tommy, can you stop hitting people?”
“let’s all sit by the fire pit and i’ll tell you what we’re doing next”
“kyle, don’t stand that close to the fire”
“cole, your towel is going to catch on fire if you stand there”
“ok, get your jammies on”
“cole, you didn’t bring anything to sleep in? yeah, you can sleep in those underwear. you don’t want a shirt on while we’re still playing?”
“we have 8 kinds of snacks for you to make your own snack mix”
“cole, that’s a lot of marshmallows”
“garrett, i think that’s enough pretzels”
“ok, we’re starting the movie”
“yeah, that’s funny dancing, cole”
“guys, i want everyone to go to the bathroom, then get in your sleeping bag”
“ok, guys, time to start quieting down”
“TJ, can you stop farting? no one will be able to quiet down if you don’t”
“kyle, turn your flashlight off please”
“cole, please stop rolling around on top of the other guys”
“ok, guys, really, you have to quiet down”
“wow, it’s 6:10am; can you guys who are awake try to stay quiet?”
“ok, it’s 6:15am; i guess everyone’s up now”
“ok, make sure you take turns with the xbox controller — remember how we did this yesterday?”
“the donuts are here!”
“ok, i’m setting up the pinata in the backyard”
“cole, careful with that stick! you’re going to take someone’s head off!”

come to think of it — this isn’t all that different than junior high ministry. it’s kind of like junior high ministry on speed; and with a bit more positional authority.

one more hour.